hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
