There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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