Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
drinking out of a sandbucket again
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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