he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
