I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
