I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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