I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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