that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
