I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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