one two three fourrrrnication!
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
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