Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
