I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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