hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
