At least make sure they are 18
Why
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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