i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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