then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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