I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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