is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
