Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
