turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Randomize
