how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
There was a lot of him and a little penis
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
this will be a night to untag.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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