Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
