Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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