I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
