remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
