this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
