lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
