If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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