Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
