what day is it and did you see me today?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
