my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
