She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
