great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
