someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
