I met the friendliest cop last night
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
of course. lets lasso hookers.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
