After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
