You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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