If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
