Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
it's great music for shaving your balls
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
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