That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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