i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
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