Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Randomize
