I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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