She said her name was "party"
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
