hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
