You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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