they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
