I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
