I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
