During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
