Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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