I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
whose parrot is this?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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