Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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