We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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